“Nice” People in an NVC Context
Saturday, Jan 11 6:30-8:30 pm
https://www.meetup.com/phxnvc/events/266706240/
Hello NVC Friends!
I am inspired by a conversation I had yesterday with someone on NVC about this message from Marshall.
If you watch or listen to Marshall’s workshops on YouTube (yes, the really long 8-hour ones), he reminds the participants a few times that practicing NVC may not necessarily make one seem like a “nice” person to others. That is because, using NVC, we can state our feelings and needs in tough situations and sometimes the other person won’t like hearing our feelings and needs. That’s ok.
From my own experience, if I hide my feelings and needs, it can sometimes squeak out later and make a bigger mess than if I had addressed it head-on. It really depends on each individual person though…if you are the type that can confront others, how can you do with more judiciously and with the right intention. If you never speak up, how can you speak up even if you get push-back from others who aren’t used to this?
There’s also another aspect to this which the picture alludes to. Being “nice” in certain situations could lead to suboptimal decisions made by groups. Gandhi, who led the nonviolent protests against British rule would certainly not have helped lead India to freedom by being “nice”. So, there’s a whole social and public aspect to this. I’m not sure we’ll get into that in this session. But just know that it’s there.
That being said, I haven’t gotten the exact details of the lesson/practice plan figured out but lets meet, discuss, and develop our skills in this area.
I hope you can join me!
